My wife of 9 years has recently started hiding her fone and changed email passwords. Paranoia or affair?

Recently started hanging out with new friends. Seems to be drifting away but claims she loves me, just needs her space.

My wife of 9 years has recently started hiding her fone and changed email passwords. Paranoia or affair?
Don't listen to all these optimistic people, most are just in denial about their own lives. Healthy couples have very few if any real secrets from each other. Since she trusted you with her passwords before and is now changing them it is obvious she has something to hide. Cheating.
Reply:the best thing you can do is to communicate with her and try to reestablish that nice intimate sense of connection that women need to feel loved and valued.





I would be concerned but it might be that she jsut needs space. Women tend to 'lose themselves' in relationships and sometimes need to branch out to refind themselves.


There is nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable and letting her know this : tell her (wihtout being blaming or attacking) let her know that you are feeling scared - that you noticed she had changed her password and it makes you feel insecure. Let her know what you need in order to feel secure:


my husband and I have an open book relationship - we both have friend of the opposite sex as long as we know each others email etc passwords.





Also, you could try to spend some times with her new friends as well - get to know her new world and integrate into it.





Be loving and kind - the worst thing you can do is to accuse her of somethig and argue. It will jsut create a deeper crack between you.





Let her know..be vulnerable (women appreciate it when men lay their feelings on the line) this also helps her see you as being human and open to her.





Goodluck
Reply:Sounds like she could be up to something!


If she feels the need to hide things from you ,do you really want a person like that as a wife?


If she is having an affair she'll slip up eventually and get caught out.


As for the "space" she needs usually that leads to her having found someone else.


Just hope you don't get lied to like i was.


Be on your guard!
Reply:I hate to say this but as a women this usually means shes at least thinking about cheating. When you are married you should be an open book, if shes hiding her phone and changing her e-mail passwords I would be very worried. Your not being paranoid at all. Shes lying about needing space, women don't need space from a man they love unless they are up to something.
Reply:You already know the answer or you wouldn't have asked... I'm sorry, but it seems likely she's having an affair or doing something else she doesn't want you to know about. Gambling? Drugs? No clue. Your best bet is to sit her down and ask her straight. Tell her you can take the truth no matter what it is but you can't take not knowing what is wrong when there is clearly a problem... then cross your fingers and pray for the best. Maybe it is just something silly like a birthday surprise or something like that. Either way, she owes you the truth after so many years. Best wishes to you.
Reply:Anytime someone is keeping something from their spouse, can't be good. I would confront her about her deception and demand an answer as to why she is hiding these things from you. Be frank and let her know that what she is doing looks suspicious. After 9 years she "needs her space"...WHAT??? That shouldn't be an issue now. I am not saying she is having an affair, but with all of these things you've described, something is definately UP!
Reply:Or just wants you to stop snooping ya nosey get!!!!


I keep all that stuff private from my lady and I'm not interested in her emails or texts either. It's called privacy. You're entitled to it in relationships too ya know.....


Also, having your own space is vital.


If I didn't have mine I'd leave in a second. Even in a relationship your individual needs and wants need attention. It's not selfish or suspicious, it's healthy.





Try not to worry. If there's anything to worry about you'll find out when you're supposed to. Just kick back and enjoy life brother.





What ever will be, will be......
Reply:Maybe she feels bad about something, that she is not able to share it with you either. Don't come to a conclusion so soon, until and unless u get some clear indications.





These things maybe because of some hatred or misunderstanding between u guys, if any.





Think of it. Maybe u could have done something, that really hurted her, and feels that she needs some personal space.
Reply:She is definitely hiding something.


You can't say for sure if it is another man. In this case I would ask her first.


If you are still suspicious, chances are that she does have something to hide.


Don't be naive and overly trusting when you have a reason to suspect. This is a red flag, pay attention to it.
Reply:afair, might not be sexual but prob emotional but could lead to sexual. Does she cover up after she showers so you can see her naked, does she change screen when you walk into a room. Her phone glued to her hip. Does she stay up after you go to bed or get up and go online befor you get up.





Don't let on and gather evidance for awhile. If you hint that your onto it she will get better at hiding it
Reply:It doesn't mean that she cheats on you. Haveing an private email address is a right for everybody. If you feel that your realtionship is not hot anymore, try to change it. Do not go for divorce. If you try to spying her, your marriage will destroy. Try to solve the probelms if you have any. Make her to come back to you istead of spying.
Reply:I hate to say it but it does sound odd however don't jump the gun before you have clear evidence. Sounds as if you are not communicating. talk to her if you love one another but also do a bit of detective work if she is dodging answers. Above all don' t get paranoid and lose it with her. Be calm but do what you have to do.
Reply:affair!!!!





has she also started to:





go out more?


change her hairstyle / worry about her hair?


wear some / more perfume?


take more care over her appearance?





if any of the above are true, on top of everything else - i would start looking for a divorce lawyer, sorry
Reply:There has to be more to the story a women cheats because something is missing @ home no, it doesn't mean in the bedroom, well I hope not for your sake, anyway something is lacking at home and yes that's how it starts. Watch those friends!
Reply:that is very suspicious especially if she was very open with you before all of this.





you will have to try and wait to see if you can get your hands on the phone bill to see what is up...
Reply:It seems like she is a bit unsettled.





Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to suggest a night out together may be to a different restaurant that she hasn't been to and you can spend time talking.
Reply:Ask her outright. Also if you have a gut instinct about whether she is cheating or not then maybe you should go with it. From a female perspective it sounds really odd to me, be careful and dont get taken for a mug. Good luck
Reply:2 things: 1) trust your instincts. 2) those who accuse falsely in this matter are usually guilty themselves.
Reply:Paranoia?? How do you know she is changing her passwords?? You must be trying to read her emails which is just wrong. You sound very insecure my friend, dont let it kell your marriage.
Reply:Something sounds a little odd. It really does sound like she is talking to someone and about things she doesn't want you to know about.
Reply:shes obviously got something to hide. nick her phone for the day an put it on silent. or hire a private detective, though if shes being that blatently obvious u prob wont need too!!
Reply:AFFAIR!!!! Get your own mistress and enjoy yourself!!! Your wife is gone count your blessings you don't have to live in MARRIAGE HELL like the rest of us!!!
Reply:yes shes definatly is take it from a woman who is having an affair hiding fone and e mails beware good luck
Reply:probably not paranoia....sorry
Reply:There is only one reason someone will hid things from their husband...it because they don't want them to know what they are doing...go by your gut feeling..
Reply:affair!!!!
Reply:That happened to a friend of mine. It turned out his wife was cheating on him.
Reply:just speak to her - better than driving yourself nuts!
Reply:cheating
Reply:maybe she needs a little more space, but u have to talk to her, seems kinda fishy...
Reply:If i were you i would hack into her email...i think she may be up to something.