Is it appropriate to know your husband or wife's email/instant messenger passwords?

What are the reasons why you would want to know them? What are the reasons why a spouse should, or should not, need to know their spouse's online passwords?

Is it appropriate to know your husband or wife's email/instant messenger passwords?
One day my wife called me out of the blue and asked for my username/password. I gave it to her without a second thought. I didn't even ask why. I had nothing to hide, there was nothing for her to "find", so why be concerned.? If she had a legitimate reason, fine. If she just wanted reassurance, fine.


Trust is a fragile thing, and everyone gets insecure once in a while, no matter how strong the relationship. She still has that info and I have no idea in the past few years whether she's used it or not.
Reply:No reason for that. Its theirs and nobody should be that nosy
Reply:I think any spouse should have their own space and privacy. I don't know any reason you would need to know them. I mean, do you have some reason to think he's using the accounts for something less than honorable? Everyone is different. I know couples who keep all that stuff to themselves and I know couples who really don't care. That's for the two of you to discuss and figure out together. I mean if he's on the level and he planned a big suprise for you or something, would you really want to find out about it by snooping in his emails or something like that?
Reply:Its appropriate if they wish to share it, if they don't then its private .... real simple
Reply:no you wouldnt want them to have yours. that is their private time. there should be enough trust in a relationship that it shouldn't matter
Reply:If the husband/wife knows that you know his/her password then there should be nothing wrong with it.
Reply:I know my husband's password to his mail and myspace. It is ok to know it build trust. but becareful not to read his previous email may be that might hurt you. Because it hurt me in the past but now that is fine we know each other passwords for almost everything. It is good to know.
Reply:if youre insecure, then you better know them or youll go crazy...





If youre trusting, then leave the them alone and have some privacy.
Reply:my husband and i both trust each other


but having each others PW helps us both have a little piece of mind, knowing that we can log on at any time to each others account helps us both IF we feel a little insecure
Reply:I see no reason to have each others passwords. Being married doesn't rule out all privacy.
Reply:yes its normal. some reasons u wuld want to know them is because to know who they talk to and wat they talk about. some of the reasons why ur spouse should know is. . .well i duno but the reason why they shuldnt is cuz some things are just ur and are privet they dont need to know everything or watever u talk about wit ur friends! :) hope this helps
Reply:Well, considering i just stumbled onto an im w/ my husband's friend and he was asking her if her friends were single so he could get some "strange" saying i was up for an open marriage (not true!!!) I say that hopefully you're not in my boat and don't need to look at his email, etc. It's sad!!!
Reply:It's none of your business. email and instant message are private.
Reply:I have my hubby's email password but that's only because I set it up for him. I don't use it.
Reply:Well it depends on if you trust your spouse or not. If you asked for them it might make your spouse feel you don't trust them or that there is an issue revolving around your relationship. If it is a trust issue or you beleive he's doing something behind your back...ask for them. If he has nothing to hide then it shouldn't be an issue. Just make sure you explain to him why you want them...otherwise he is going to feel that your snooping. It will give you piece of mind...and hey why not give him yours so he'll feel better too.
Reply:I work with government related things...my password stays with me. It's kinda important to keep it that way.


Minus that, I believe that a little privacy is a good thing. I mean it's more of a trust thing than anything. I feel I can trust her to maintain the proper conduct online, and she can trust me to do the same. If she wants to cheat on me, she'll leave me first and vice versa, becuase at that point, we obviously don't have the same desires, etc...
Reply:My guy gave me his password once. He wanted me to check his mail for him.





I haven't gone in there since. Don't see the need to.





I haven't given him mine and he hasn't asked.
Reply:I know my husband's and he knows mine. When you are married you should have no secrets. I know his because he has me check it sometimes when he's gone and he knows mine because we get all of our internet bills to my e-mail. But even before then we knew each other's!!
Reply:My husband and I know each others passwords we actually have the same password. If he didn't want me to know it I'd think he has something to hide and I don't have anything to hide from him so it's not an issue for us.
Reply:my bf has mine and i have his.. but we dont use it.. he also had a lot of my user id and pass words so he can pay the bills on the computer if i dont feel like doing it.. i got it stored in a folder on the computer so he can access it..but so far he dont want to ...but some people are just private about such things.. and for them that is reason enough.. the only time i think you should have to have his is if he demands yours.. than fair is fair
Reply:My husband and I know each others and we never have any problems with it. Some of our accounts send emails to him and some to me, we both keep up on all of our accounts and working different shifts its easier to just log in to each others emails than it is to hope the other remembers to give important information when needed. We also have the same circle of friends and when plans are made or info is given we can just tell each other to check the messenger archives. As long as there isn't anything going on that your spouse would not be happy about there shouldn't be a problem. Honest people don't need secrets.
Reply:My wife and I believe in respecting each other's privacy, and there's nothing wrong with that. I have a little "obsessive-compulsive" in my personality, which means I don't like my stuff mixing with other people's stuff. If I got IMs or emails meant for her, it would just rub me the wrong way a bit.





That said, it's not a big deal for me either. It's not like I have anything to hide. She can read all my email if she wants anyway, because of the way I have my preferences set up. You don't have to go online to read any email I have read, because they all get saved to hard drive automatically when I read them. All the password does is allow me to retrieve new mail.





In my opinion, a couple should discuss and weigh the issues of privacy and trust, and then come to mutual agreements about passwords based upon where they stand on those two issues.
Reply:If you knew them, how would you know they were the only ones? It all boils down to trust. Do you trust them or don't you?
Reply:If the spouse wants to share their passwords and such then they can do so. If not, then they shouldn't have to. The only reason a partner would want to know or demand access at any time to their partners email/instant messenger is because there is no trust.


I personally gave mine to my husband but its because I was always forgetting my passwords and such and told him so at least one of us would remember.
Reply:It depends on the couple. If they want to share these things that is fine. If they don't that is fine as well.
Reply:No that is something that if the person would like to disclose and if they dont you should not ask
Reply:My husband and I share everything and there are absolutely no secrets between us. There are some passwords (like for my job) that he can't know because I could get fired for sharing but for my personal stuff it's all fair game and the same for him.





It all about agreements and boundries. We agree to share these things and we keep as much open between us as possible.
Reply:I don't know my husbands and he doesn't know mine. But not because we are hiding things from each other. We both trust each other and have no reason to go snooping in each others emails. If I wanted to know his, he would tell me and vice versa. It's just not an issue for us. You gotta be able to trust each other, without trust what is there?
Reply:I wouldn't mind my husband knowing because I have nothing to hide from him (except for a surprise birthday party for him I am plannign with his sister for next year.)





Marriage is all about trust. I suppose it could go both ways; you trust your spouse enough to have the password and not make use of it, and they trust you enough to not have to use it.





Although having some sort of privacy, even in marriage, is very important.
Reply:i know his passwords, he knows mine.


there is no reason to hide things from each other.


if he refused, i'd be intrigued and i'm sure vice versa.
Reply:NO. Somethings should just be private.